Worn out.

I’m like living in a whirlwind.

There are just so many things happening all at once.

How do I take care of others if I can’t even take care of myself?

I’m just so tired. Exhaustion is engulfing me.

But at least you empathize. :)

 

Betrayed.

I knew our friendship was already pretty strained but I totally didn’t see this coming.

I thought telling you my secret would make us closer. I thought I could trust you. But you proved me wrong. Of course, there are consequences when more (I hope not too many) people know about my secret. But what I’m more upset about is how you could coldly break our friendship just like that. Perhaps all the things that I did before to salvage this friendship wasn’t enough. To be honest, I always felt like I was the only one trying and making compromises. But I guess it doesn’t really matter now, because the trust is now broken.

I guess we are still friends, but we’ll never go back to last time because I can never trust you again.

Thank you darlings for standing by me and letting me know who my true friends are. <3

21/4

OOPS forgot to publish this! Paiseh ><

1. Played table tennis with Kiayee today during PE and after school HAHA. Brought my own table tennis bat ^^It’s fun to engage in one of my favourite sports again! I’m glad I managed to train my forehand strokes and I think I improved a lot for forehand by the end of the day YIPPEE.

2. Physics Mock SPA was pretty easy because I paid attention during the review session (despite the drama going on ><) and wrote down some notes which I managed to cram and internalize 10 minutes before Mock SPA LOL. It was quite fun setting up the circuit too! YAY I’m so glad I took physics over bio :)

3. Had a nice chat with the bookshop auntie today about my future ambition :) She gave me a lot of invaluable advice from her experience of working many years in the sales and service sector HEHE. I really like to talk to people from different walks of life. I always get to learn a lot of things. :)

4. Visited the HOPE.HEART.HOME exhibition with Linda at the inner plaza afterwards! The exhibits and artworks were really pretty but they also got me to think about my hopes for Singapore in the future :) And I got a pretty badge and wristband for completing the particulars and survey form YAY.

5. Choir was fun and went well ^^ Since non-trip choristers ended prac early, Yunmei and I went to Chill to grab some food to eat and had a nice HTHT <3 We always have so many things to talk about hehehe.

I keep replaying this video nowadays because Tiffany sounds really nice here WOW.

Thank God.

‘My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever known. And it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again.’ -The Vow

The Vow made me realize how important memories are to us. Only with memories can we find personal history, identity and purpose. How can one find meaning and significance in an empty life?

I want to inspire people. I want to build up the potential in people so that they can be the best they can be, because I believe that everyone deserves the right to find his or her own place in this world.

Because of that, I thank God for all the experiences that He has blessed me with throughout these 18 years of my life, be it the good or bad memories. All these experiences have shaped me to become the person I am today. Hence, I aim to use my experience and cultivated worldview to support and motivate people to live life to its fullest :)

I’d like to thank so many people who supported me during a rather painful period of my life. I remember every single one of my friends who ever took time to listen to me and/or gave me encouragements, acquaintances who asked my close friends about how I was doing, coworkers and team members who grew to understand and forgive me for my unsatisfactory work performance, family members who tolerated my tumultuous mood swings and hostility, classmates who cheered me up and made me laugh with their hilarious antics and jokes, school and church teachers who came to talk to me expressing their concern and worry for me as well as my closest friends who saw the worst side of me when I spammed them with my negative thoughts and insecurities and vented my stress on them.

The list can go on forever ^^

To everyone I mentioned above, you know who you are. I’d like to extend my biggest appreciation and thanks to all of you from the bottom of my heart. Without any one of you, I’d not be who I am today.

But the greatest person I’d like to thank is God. Thank You for sending your Son, Jesus Christ, to die for a mere sinner like me who has fallen short of Your glory, such that I can now be saved from the punishment of eternal death. Thank You for always being here for me, never forsaking me even when I drew away from You. Thank You for blessing me with the lovely people I mentioned above, including my closest and sweetest prayer buddy ^^ Thank You for using him to show me the magnificence and beauty of Your sovereign will, as well as how great Your love is. Because You have given me a heart to love, I can now love others like how You love me. <3

I’d like to assure everyone that I’m fine now :) In fact, I’m happier with my life than ever before. I’m finally ready to embark on the next phase of my life. Here’s to a wonderful and Christ-led life ahead of me! :)

诗篇 23 篇
耶和华是我的牧者,我必不致缺乏。
他使我躺卧在青草地上,领我在可安歇的水边。
他使我的灵魂苏醒,为自己的名引导我走义路。
我虽然行过死荫的幽谷,也不怕遭害,因为祢与我同在,祢的杖,祢的竿都安慰我。
在我敌人面前,祢为我摆设筵席,
祢用油膏了我的头,使我的福杯满溢。
我一生一世必有恩惠、慈爱随着我,
我且要住在耶和华的殿中,直到永远。

16/4 only the happy things. :)

1. Enjoyed some time alone at AVT playing my favourite Christian songs this morning ^^

2. I finally bought my pink marker yesterday so I can continue annotating and highlighting my notes yay! Felt so peaceful when I was reading my Global and Primate Cities readings today HEHE.

3. International Friendship Day was really fun because the emcee is so enthu and high HAHAHA. The participants were really entertaining too!

4. Went for P. Geog remedial from 2-3pm with Jiahui and Yifan. I think I’m starting to like Ms Lo more because she’s quite nice ^^ I’ve always had the impression that she’s scary haha oops

5. Choir prac went surprisingly well eh (according to my low standards as usual LOL). Usually Audi pracs are always screwed but ya today was a miracle yay.

I'll share one of the stupidest and funniest song I've ever heard in my entire life, sorry for those who like 严爵 TAAHAA.

15/4 again

Reasons why I’m feeling so sleepy now:

1. I woke up at 5am today

2. The weather is making me feel drowsy

3. Sleep quality has been bad because I’ve been troubled

I didn’t sleep well the night before too because I had a vivid dream about something and someone I would never have expected myself to dream about. I actually believe in 日有所思,夜有所梦 so I’m kinda a bit freaked out right now. WHAT HAVE I BEEN THINKING OMGOSH.

I’m having hiccups now >< It’s so awkward because I’m lying flat on my bed and the hiccups are making my body jerk every 5 seconds so I jump up periodically and am typing really choppily LOL.

Anyway I’d like to share this funny video I watched yesterday HAHAHA. Weylie is so hilarious I can’t even. Anyway just a disclaimer to my readers: Weylie is really open about her experiences and her description of what happened is pretty graphic LOL. Be prepared to either feel super awkward/embarrassed or laugh yourself silly like what I did.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ok I really can’t take it anymore. I’m going to fall asleep any second from now. Bye readers! :)