31/7

1. 13S6TowerKarst. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Jones’ drawing of the Tower Karst is so hilarious OMGOSH. I’d have to thank him for making Limestone Weathering and Landforms more interesting for me now LOL. When I was doing pre-reading, I was really turned off by all the terminology. I’ll just list out a few karst landforms for you all k. Doline, uvala, cenote, Kegel karst, mogotes (or tower karst HAHAHAHA), clints, grykes, Spirzkarrenn / pinnacles, swallow hole / blind valley, dry valley, speleothems… Like… #okcan. Especially for someone like me who only took Geog in lower sec, these terms can be quite intimidating >< But I guess it’s good that they gave the Geo Factsheet because I feel that it explains the formation and characteristics of these karst landforms better than the actual lecture notes heehee.

2. And OMGOSH I actually got the Most Improved Student award for H2 Geog!!! And Jones got the same prize for H1 Geog YAYYY. We switched prizes because I wanted the green notebook and he wanted the black one which Mrs Chua gave me. (I already have an unused black one which is like $22.80 HAHAHAHA.) And Mrs Chua was so nice… she gave chocs to every student regardless of whether or not they have done well / improved for BT2. My class got 2 packs of Hershey’s Kisses :)

3. I’m really going to miss Hwa Chong. I remember on Tuesday when I was waiting for Veggie to end school. I ended school at 1pm so I walked Jiahui to Coro cuz she wanted to buy cup noodles hehe. Then after I saw her board the bus I went to walk around. I entered NYPS 11 years ago, then NYGH and now HCI. For 12 years, this has practically been my second neighbourhood and it feels sad to be leaving in 2 months :( I don’t think I’ll come back often after I graduate because frankly speaking there aren’t a lot of amenities here (oops LOL) and I still haven’t confirmed whether I will wanna come back to HCI to work before my uni. But I guess I kinda wanna explore other areas of Singapore too! Jiahui and I were talking about touring around Singapore after A levels and visiting new places heehee. I’m really excited about life after A levels YAY!!!

4. Anyway it started to pour and I didn’t have an umbrella so I kinda decided to walk back. And obviously I got drenched really badly HAHA. I kinda like the rain but I don’t like how it destroys my hair LOL. Met Veggie and Meh Meh and decided to follow them to JP then do some window shopping on my own :) I wasn’t in a good mood that day so I needed this. >< My sleep quality was really bad the night before. Maybe I got possessed by a ghost during the night. Hmm. Apparently I looked like a ghost too that day. Like some ppl said I looked quite pale… (and I think I felt like one too HAHAHA) Then my mum came to fetch me and made me cry as usual LOL… I feel like I’m always repeating myself. Ok I shall move on to something else.

5. Been wanting to blog about HyunA’s comeback YAY! I love her new concept although some ppl comment that she copied Miley and Katy. And as usual people say that it is overly suggestive. Like the riding on a banana part HAHAHA. Which I agree LOL. What’s a HyunA comeback without any sexual inappropriateness hehe.  But I feel that this comeback is much better than Bubble Pop or Ice Cream. I generally don’t like it when HyunA does cutesy concepts. Ewwwwww gross. I don’t think she’s very comfortable with acting cute in such a forced manner as well. I can really see her awkwardness in her live performances. I prefer more energetic concepts HAHA. Like when she did Change. And I think she has the same preferences too. She is like 100 times more happy in her Red LIVEs as compared to Bubble Pop LOL. And OMGOSH she’s so pretty in the Egyptian outfit <33333

Anyway sorry for the lack of updates nowadays… Sleep quality has been quite bad :(

Will post again soon ^^

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I no longer understand.

I no longer understand how it feels like to be you. To be emotionally weak, to be as brittle as glass, to have to depend so much on external circumstances to feel significant. Well I guess I no longer think it’s necessary to feel significant. So what if you don’t feel significant? Ultimately you are the most important person in your life. (after God of course, if you are religious) Seriously, no one else is more important. Your family, your friends and your spouse love you. So what? If you don’t even love yourself, what’s the point?

I cringe in disappointment as I see people who lack self-love. Some of these people fight to boost their self-esteem by the way people treat them and how they treat people. And some of these people don’t even try to earn themselves some dignity and pride. They just wallow in self-pity with absolute inaction. This is something that I really cannot understand anymore. Why do people crave for significance so much, and if they do, why don’t they do something about it from within instead of pressurizing and inflicting pain onto others?

I’m not sure whether this is a sign of me being jaded or having some kind of defense mechanism from being hurt severely in the past. I guess I’d like to think of this as an age or maturity gap between me and my younger same-aged friends instead. Maybe the more I don’t understand, the higher the level of maturity HAHAHA

LOL.

21/7

WARNING: This post is not going to be nice.

To anyone whose birthday falls on this day, I’m sorry but this day has been a complete nightmare. As I’m typing this, tears of frustration are streaming down my face and I feel like I’m going to explode into violence anytime. I woke up feeling extremely tired this morning which I have no idea why. Then I felt like a drunkard in school, I didn’t know what I was doing for football and Physics prac. To make it worse, I experienced some other things in school which made me feel SO ANNOYED that I couldn’t stay in school to wait for the book (some of you will know what book this is) any longer. I angsted all the way to West Mall where I did some overdue shopping and then my mum fetched me.

And as usual, she was the last straw.

I love my parents, but I hate their system so much. If this system were a piece of paper I would crush it into a million pieces and burn every single little piece into total ash. I know that I always have to resign myself to obeying my parents’ commands. But these commands are smothering me, pummeling me into the faceless ground. I’m so tired of getting my hopes and dreams crushed, one by one. My life is plundered of its purpose because I can’t follow my passions and live my life for God as long as I’m still in this family and under your control. I really don’t know what to look forward to anymore.

My anger has subsided from all the crying.

I’m just so exhausted.

不完美的完美

This song is dedicated to all my darling blackcolourednotebook readers ^^

We all deserve to be proud of who we are :)

生命是一块铁   沸腾才能刻写

明天的我   是不朽或浮生一瞥

人体内六公升血   一颗颗都如酒浓烈

为爱疯狂   没醉过的人不了解

 

哪怕偶尔得转换起点

哪怕选手缺少优先权   没得选

我将犹豫都甩开

将目光都锁在   同一个终点

前方越多的风险   冒险

越容易领先

 

我要我是谁   就算梦未遂

也不让现实这土匪

把理想都盗走   到老才数着后悔

感动是纤维   纺织后成为一张被

你将我包围

你的爱没白给

虽然我并不完美

 

心意坚定如铁   故事我自己写

你别看我   安静但内心很狂野

我体内所有的血   一分钟都不肯停歇

所谓疯狂   是不管他人的误解

 

虽然我并不完美

虽然我不完美

I’ll be somebody someday

 

因为我不完美

才会是独特的谁

 

16/7

1. First Math lecture that I actually paid attention in and followed the lecturer since we started on Stats so CLAP FOR MEEEE haha. I thought Hypothesis Testing is quite interesting despite my almost-total inability to do Stats questions. But as usual I was not paying full attention cuz I was reading my Geog notes at the same time HAHA. Kinda proud of how I can multi-task so well every lecture LOL.

2. Chem Prac was fun because we did Electrochem YAYYYY. But Jason’s group burnt their battery because they created a short circuit with their electrolytic cell LOL. It was quite an experience because suddenly we heard an explosion and white fumes billowed out from their setup and there were flames (I think). Then everyone else rushed out of the room immediately except for a few of us and Mr Loo who was so calm HAHA. Then afterwards we realized that it was cuz they connected both wires to the negative terminal of the battery ._. And they had to pay a total of around $12 for the damage afterwards. Kinda reminded me of how I broke the Thermal Physics demo apparatus because I used too much force to increase the pressure of the gas LOL.

3. HG tut was okay. We split into groups to prepare for a presentation next tut. The topic that we are currently doing is Urban Housing which is quite interesting. And as most of you probably know, I LOVE URBAN <33333

4. Then came CT session which was URA+PUB for the first one and MOE for the second one. I realized that it is more difficult to get the NEW scholarship with a Geography degree… :( they are looking out more for Engineers bah. I never thought I would actually develop passion for the environment so I guess I should thank Geog for making me more environmentally-aware hehehe. But MOE/PSC scholarship for Teaching really appealed to me so yup probably that's gonna be the direction I'm heading towards! :)))

5. Went to the canteen to wait for Rachie to go to Gastronomia and found some of the juniors and Joel HAHA. Then Bryce came and idk how it became me Belle Rachie and Bryce having a conversation at The Missing Pan about all the interesting stuff which happened in Riga. I felt like there was info overload actually HAHA. Too much to take in. But some were so hilarious OMGOSH LOLOLOLOL

14/7 and 15/7

YESTERDAY

1. New teacher for PE: MR LEE :) He’s quite enthu and passionate as a teacher hehe. (As compared to other PE teachers LOL) Played football YAY ^^ my team which consisted of Pon Star, 小白脸, Yihan, Guoh Yew’s darling and me only lost 1 match I think? Which was super cool hehe. And we weren’t even thrashed. Heehee. Cheryl, Zinc and Pa Pa were talking about World Cup in the car this morning and I was like errr HAHA last night I was sleeping like a log LOL.

2. Physics prac was quite interesting as we did diffraction grating for LED lights. The colours were so prettayeeee~ <33333 My group got a pretty nice best-fit line so yayyy.

3. Went for lunch and movie date with Wan Lin afterwards. The minced meat noodles at the hawker centre beside her house is SOOO GOOD. One of the best bak chor mee I've ever eaten omgoshhhhh. The movie was Begin Again and I really liked the soundtracks heehee.

TODAY

1. I realize I really missed my school lessons during the June holidays and BT period… :( GP lesson was very informative as usual and Chem lesson was quite funny haha. Jason went to the toilet to LS then Mr Loo was like 'Speaking of toilets…' Then he told us about his interesting discoveries about the human bladder HAHA. Gotta treasure all my lessons before they end. Can't believe I'm graduating in 3 months :((( Will really miss Hwachong so much man.

2. Rushed with my other adorable batchies to the airport to fetch the WCG cuties <333 We were freaking out on the way there because we thought we wouldn't make it on time… But we succeeded in giving them a surprise YAYYYY :))) But they looked really tired, so 心疼 sighhh

3. 4 Finger-ed with the batchies who stayed to find food! (Aka YS, SQ, Ynez, Huilee, Uncle, Chun Jie and Jiarui <333) I prefer the McDonald's seaweed fries but this one was okay HAHA. So glad to have time to spend with some of my favourite people :)))

Everywhere I go
I look around and hope
That I can just catch a glimpse of you
Maybe if you saw me first instead
You would call my name
But the scary part is
I no longer remember your voice