30/9

1. Nice first day of school after the post-prelim break! Was happy to meet my darlings again esp 小白脸 who didn’t come for cycling with us :( Currently mugging at United Square’s SBux with her and waiting for our caramel frappe heehee ^^

2. Recently there’s so much angst in me that I need to let go. Feeling petty feelings of dislike which are preventing me from taking some people seriously :( Why is it that the more I try to achieve perfection, the more I impose my standards onto my close friends, and the more disappointment I get???

3. Suddenly I feel like I’m doing everything wrong in my life. Why do I love others so much, but give myself so little dignity? Am I slowly destroying myself? :(

29/9

1. Lovely mugging session in the library today ^^ everything was so serene and peaceful ˆᴗˆ did a lot of Atoms and Stoichiometry drills LOL. Got my hands on this cute revision package booklet that HCI Chem Dept apparently stopped publishing before my batch. I’m guessing that it might be because not a lot of people utilized these booklets responsibly? But I’m going to do all of them and master Chem as much as possible heehee ^^

2. Speaking of which, I actually changed my specs ytd cuz the handle just fell apart cuz the glue lost its adhesiveness LOL. Low quality specs… *shakes head* the previous pair I bought from the same optical shop I got these specs also died on me cuz the screw came out ._. Decided to buy a pair from a little family shop in Beauty World and so far I’ve received compliments ^^ But more importantly I think this makes me look more like a guai kia / mugger which I’m aspiring to become HAHAHA.

3. Got a shade darker from ECP outing with Kia Yee and Jiahui today LOL. I actually reached there around 2 hours earlier so I basically just walked around to find the bicycle kiosk where we were supposed to meet. And it’s not a surprise that a person like me with such a bad sense of direction could walk in the other direction for 1 whole hour before realizing that she was never ever going to find the bicycle kiosk HAHA. Anyway since the food court was nearby, I bought a gigantic coconut LOL. Then as I was walking back everyone stared at me, most of them with amusement HAHA. Got a few comments from passers-by (not surprisingly) because I was this little girl walking around ECP alone hugging this humongous coconut bigger than the size of her head.

‘Good choice!’
‘Nice ah!’
‘Where did u buy that from?’

Then I met a nice Malay uncle who offered me a ride on his bike to my meeting place, which I happily agreed ^^

4. Cycling with Jiahui and Kia Yee was generally fun except a few things:

– I HATE the middle-sized bike. It’s like no matter how fast I pedal THE BIKE STAYS AT CONSTANT VELOCITY. I was so fed up that I went to change it to the big one, even though we’ve already cycled through half of ECP.

– I was already drained of energy from all the coconut walking beforehand, so I was kinda suffering with the cycling.

– Personal reason. You all might be able to guess it. Ask me personally if you really want to find out LOL.

But generally I would say I enjoyed today although I’m so exhausted right now I can sleep on the street.

Going to rest now, since this bus takes a million years to reach Jurong East LOL. And probably more Atoms and Stoichiometry at night. LEGGOOOO

New update! ^^

1. Prelims was generally good :))) Of course I still have a long way to go for subjects like Math and Geog but I’m quite contented with my performance ^^ Thursday was my last paper (Chem Paper 1) and I started the day feeling really miserable :( I watched 小猪’s 十点名人堂 and felt so sad afterwards :'( He was crying so much when the scene of his father in the hospital got re-enacted in the film. He loves and misses his father so much :((( I got really angry at a friend afterwards which further ruined my mood. Then on the way to school my mum was in one of her bad moods so I basically came out of the car crying. Then I went to class and cried again LOLL. But somehow Chem Paper 1 made me cheer up HAHAHA. After the paper I was feeling much better and by the time we went to Botanics I totally forgot about what happened this morning heehee ^^ Had a great day with my darlings at ECP that day~ I was totally crazy and went to jump around like a little doggy playing with the tennis ball I found LOL. I guess when I’m with nature I become a total kid. :)

2. Friday was fun too because I went to Seoul Garden with Veggie Llama and Meimei! And we ate SO MUCH MEAT HAHAHA. Super delicious. But I think I ate too many mushrooms and veggies so I kinda died at the Ice Kachang part. I was extremely full so in the end we had to waste food cuz no one else could help me finish my Ice Kachang :( Afterwards we hobo-ed at JP for a while before Meimei and I went to Somerset to shop heehee ^^ bought a pair of lacy black shorts and 2 pairs of cute earrings from F21 YAY. After that I went to meet the More Food and Drinks gang at Dhoby LOLLL. Apparently they were called the Swensens group but they didn’t go to Swensens in the end so they changed their name HAHAHA. Didn’t eat much because I was still full from the Korean buffet so I just sat there and chatted with Yu Xian while eating a bit here and there. We talked about my future aspirations and I realize that we are very similar in terms of our dream careers HEEHEE. Was an enriching convo and I received a lot of awesome advice ^^ When Yu Xian left I was more involved in the group talk and we helped Joel celebrate his bdae and write his 20 facts about me insta post LOL. Afterwards we went to buy ice-cream at Macs (which I obviously didn’t) and were talking about going to drink but quite a few of us couldn’t so we went back home. But I can’t wait for our zichar + beer outing next HAHAHA. And there’s no way you all are gonna get me drunk. TOO BADDDDD

3. Haven’t received a thank you note for the longest time possible, so I was really touched when I received one from this really cute and sweet friend of mine recently <333 I’m just glad that I’m here to support you, so that you don’t have to go through everything alone at home. *hugs* Thank you for letting me know that I have actually made a difference despite me not being able to change your situation at all. I’ll continue to stand by you no matter what happens kayy :))) 我们一起加油吧!

4. So in love with this song because it’s 小猪 HAHA. But I actually relate to this song soooo much and it gives me so many nice fossilized feelings <333 I always go back and reminisce all the things that we shared heehee.

No matter what God has planned for the both of us, I will always keep your presence by my side.

<3

I love you Weylie.

I think my mid-life crisis is starting.

I’m questioning all my choices and preferences nowadays.

I don’t really know what I want, what I should do, and what I can do anymore.

I know at this point some of you are probably laughing hysterically at the absurdity of this.

It’s okay because I also find this mid-life crisis thing quite ridiculous HAHAHA.

MY LIFE IS A LIE *cries*

Anyway.

Weylie is one of my favourite YouTubers because she’s just so cute and funny.

She posted this video yesterday night and it was really what I needed.

Hope this video encourages all of you too heehee. *hugs*

Have a great day ahead~

\

17/9

1. Geog was a mess because I was writing too slowly and rushed so much for essay. Doubting whether Geog is actually a good choice for uni now because I don’t seem to be reaching the expectations at all no matter how much I improve. Maybe I should rethink all of my choices.

2. Physics was quite manageable but I wasn’t in the mood at all so I got stuck at quite a few questions :( But thank God for gravitational field which saved me so much for Paper 3 :’)

Don’t really know where my life is heading towards at the moment. So many choices to make. Suddenly I don’t know what to do anymore.

A happy update! :)

I must say, I’ve never been better. There’s a nice balance of friends, studies, health, positiveness and music <333 I’m not feeling extremely stressed or anything anymore, just to update those of you who are concerned. ^^ I am eating and sleeping well, and I no longer have my ‘morning sickness’ anymore after battling with it for around 3 years :’) Over the past few months I have made friends with some really awesome people, and these friends are the ones who never give me any problems at all because they are really sincere and warm-hearted, not to mention mature and independent. *tears up a bit* HAHA.

Those of you who know me well and/or read 6/9 will know that I don’t really seek for anything in return nowadays when making friends and showing concern for people as I just want to spread God’s love which is overflowing in me. Past friendship experiences have led me to build a wall to block out friends who just want to make use of me and energy suckers who just cause me to crumble. I also lost a lot of trust in friendship and people in general :'( My expectations of friendship have lowered so much since the start of this year, that’s why I rarely agonize over my own friendship problems nowadays >< it’s more like my friends’ problems and of course family and relationship problems are still a major concern HAHA. It’s a pleasant surprise to meet people who really share the same interests / experiences / worldviews as me, and we can engage in analytical discussion as well as really retarded conversations like the next day heehee ^^ Friendships nowadays are well-balanced, complementary and reciprocal, but more importantly, they build me up instead of tear me down. :’)

My Love :)

This song speaks for me. <3333

如果你被她伤过很痛

请感谢她好心折磨

如果你对她感到愧疚

请感谢她慷慨泪流

在我们相遇相爱之前

多亏有她   让你成熟

如果你现在孤独寂寞

请感谢这美丽等候

如果你还在为爱犯错

请感谢还没找到我

要走完每个曲折路口

我们才懂   爱是什么

Woo~ My love

Woo~ My love

如果庆幸我值得拥有

请感谢我被放弃过

如果欣赏我坚强温柔

请感谢那珍贵伤口

在我们相遇相爱之后

遗憾都会   变成守候

Woo~ My love

Woo~ My love

当我们终于紧紧相拥

所有苦恼   会甜美结果

我们就耐心漂流

爱回来的   在对的时候

Woo~ My love

Woo~ My love

Woo~ My love

Woo~ My love