Late post

Haven’t posted in a while. It’s cuz I don’t really know how to describe my life right now… I’m currently dealing with many new (and old) challenges but I see my life more like a plateau. Idk if it’s because I’m already numb to all of these or because I’ve just decided to stop fighting against what life has given me. No matter what, to sum it up, I guess life is ok ˆᴗˆ

Don’t really feel like posting about daily happenings cuz they seem kinda repetitive and meaningless. Like ‘today I went out with _____ (and blah blah blah)’ just feels like another insta or twitter thingum where ppl share their daily activities, often for purely social reasons. I guess I’m slowly losing interest in blogging because it’s becoming more of a burden than a hobby. 

I know a few people who might feel a bit sad reading this cuz they keep in touch with me primarily through my blog. But details about my life have become so private that it’s difficult for me to share anything anymore here. Now I spend most of my time working yet I can’t blog much about work cuz it’ll be dreadful if my rantings get to my boss and colleagues. Can’t really blog about my family as well cuz I know a particular family member reads my blog LOL. Not to mention friendships and relationships cuz so many of my friends have my URL. My relationship with God has weakened quite a bit as well so not much to talk about for my religious views. Left with music but I’m rapidly losing passion in it as well…

Don’t really know how long this blog is going to last. I’m so tired of WordPress for its formatting and utter lack of blog skins. Was thinking about switching to Dayre but it’s a bit like Insta + Twitter + WordPress which is quite intimidating. I guess I’ll just see how it goes bah. 

Can someone tell me what’s going on with me? I feel like I’m slowly losing myself. Why do I feel so unmotivated??

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vday thoughts

Girls’ night ytd was superb. Had lots of girl talk and pizza and beer and bridge and laughing HAHA. Decided that I shall cherish this bunch of darlings <333

Fossilized feelings are back, to my horror. I guess my old friends are already very tired of all these endless cycles of “I have forgotten fossil” and “oh actually I haven’t” which go on over and over and over again. I’m also exhausted. So I shall once and for all announce for the last time (hopefully) that I haven’t gotten over him and I probably won’t ever be. Shall revert back to my “single but unavailable” status perhaps for the next 10 years.

Despite that I must say I’m pretty happy with my life right now ^^ There are still occasional depressed moments for which I numb myself with a movie. Then I cheer up :) Btw I wanted to watch Jupiter Ascending cuz of Channing Tatum <333 And I think Mila Kunis is cool too. It’s just that the movie genre doesn’t appeal of me AT ALL. And I just went to check. This movie received a lot of negative reviews.

To end off my “vday thoughts” post, I guess I shall say that I’ve learnt to not think too much LOL. It really saves me a lot of unnecessary heartache and confusion.

^^ yay

I MISS HUGGY

I feel like I haven’t done a proper post in ages so here I am trying to get rid of that guilty feeling that has been haunting me.

These days I’ve been feeling more in touch with myself and my life. The real me is coming back yayyee. I’m very happy nowadays ^^

That being said, I really miss some of my JC friends especially my NS 弟弟s… Now that some of them have gotten their wives they are going to start to neglect this boring old hag here oh noooo… *cries* But ok lah protect wife more important.

Slowly getting used to my job yayyee. Although it’s still extremely challenging at least I’m finding myself in this new environment. The kids are so retardedly cute they make me laugh non-stop in my trademark witch cackle. But sometimes I still get so annoyed when they don’t cooperate OMGOSHHH

Having my darlings over tmr for vdae girls’ night hehe ^^ Pretty excited although I haven’t decided what to prepare for potluck… Maybe I’ll just order pizza delivery. LOL. Can’t wait to meet zbz and Yuqi!!! Haven’t seen these lovelies in ages OMGOSH.

Time really heals. :)

Fake friends

Too many of them. But I have chosen this path so no regrets now. I’m just thinking that some things should really be kept to myself from now on.

The awkward feeling when the person you are talking to tries her utmost to hide something that u already unintentionally found out from her ‘good friend’. I’m just playing along with it for now.

I typically make friends to integrate. But I’m always re-evaluating my friendships. When these friends have finally been integrated into the community, do I continue trying? Because a lot of times my efforts get misunderstood and both parties suffer.

I’m trying to figure out why some people constantly stare at me but become awfully quiet when I talk to them. Sometimes I feel that these people are judging me because of the serious look they have on their faces when they scrutinise my every move. But I am surprised when these people one day tell me something like ‘I really respect you for…’ Like errrr… Ok like if u are not harbouring feelings of dislike for me then WHY SO SERIOUS???

I knew that I was going to be a workaholic. I not only work every day, but also keep myself busy as long as it is during working hours. When I’m not working, I’m almost constantly thinking of my work and how I can improve my performance. I admit that money is important to me and I’m working hard for a pay raise. But the fact that I’ve been improving motivates me to continue putting in my all to overcome the challenges. The process of earning my reward gives me more gratification than receiving my pay check. Seeing my kids master the knowledge and skills I’ve painstakingly drilled into them makes me feel that no matter what I’m doing in life, I should NEVER give up on something I want. There are still a few areas I fail at, but as long as my family, friends, colleagues, boss and beloved kiddies do not give up on me, I’m going to keep trying.

That being said, I think I’m getting older and weaker by the day. Time to get some supplements HAHA. I don’t wanna use my hard-earned CPF money on medical bills when I’m old LOL.