bad day

the typical 我最倒霉的一天. 

feeling absolutely horrible right now because of it. 

but I guess sometimes unfortunate things just happen no matter how hard we try to plan. 

is there a way to make me feel better?

I hate this feeling I’m feeling. 

how do successful people deal with bad days

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2 days of going out

finals finally ended. 

after I ended my last paper I immediately rushed to pandan valley to work. jiahui asked me why I’m not giving myself a break and working so hard during the holidays. she was worried that I would be drained out and deprived of proper rest. idk, I guess it just feels right to give some help to the school now that they are looking for a replacement teacher and are desperately in need of some manpower. 

I’ll be working until 17 dec then flying off on 21 dec to london until the start of jan to visit my bro in London. doesn’t seem like I have much time to rest. cuz unfortunately for some reason when I travel I dun get a lot of rest. maybe cuz of information overload. in the sense that there is too much to take in. haha. I think u all know that I’m someone who thinks a lot. my mind loves to process and analyse information. for some reason every time I travel I get rejuvenated. ok lah so it’s not that bad.

#firstworldproblems

lol.

nowadays I love to say that. for some reason. haha. I think it’s quite fun to say that? and it kinda puts the things we do into perspective. of what is really impt and necessary. which is what I’m currently doing at this phase of my life. constantly reevaluating what I’m doing and whether they ‘add to’ what I hope to achieve for myself and my life. 

that’s why I have a feeling one day I’ll abandon all the fashion stuff. getting sick of them, and realising that I shouldn’t be spending too much time on things that are not meaningful to me. and definitely influenced hugely by my super frugal bestie. it makes sense that money shouldn’t be spent too carelessly on stuff that u dun need, no matter how much money u have. u can always use the money to do more meaningful stuff. money has unlimited uses haha. 

I think although now I really love to switch on the aircon, in the future I’ll have a tiny house and an aircon that I’ll only use during the haze period. and my house will be super plain and all the stuff will be cheap (and good) China products. (speaking of which i have to seriously learn how to get cheap and good stuff. it’s a life skill omgosh) and I’ll probably live alone so there won’t even be a need for a lot of things in my house in the first place haha. 

unless I get married. which is something idk will happen or not bec judging by the situation it seems like my love for fossil will never ever end? so I dun think I’ll ever fall in love with somebody else. I’ll just keep waiting for him. in the meantime I’ll enjoy my singlehood, spending money only on myself, making my own decisions heehee. no matter what happens I’m excited for the future. with fossil or without fossil, my life is awesome ˆᴗˆ

went out with Yina and mabbu today. and we were talking about love. Yina was like love is a choice, not a feeling. I guess it kinda does make sense, maybe I just choose to let fossil stay in my heart. but idk. I really dunno how the psychology of love works. cuz at the same time I also believe in that magical feeling. but ok lah, it doesn’t really matter cuz I wanna love him anyway. and. 

let go and let God. ˆᴗˆ

seriously thinking about what I should do in the future with regards to my career. was talking to my bestie and I realized that I wanna disregard my own interests and just do a job that society needs? dunno how that will work out. I mean, I guess society tells us that we should do what we are truly passionate about but isn’t it the case that whether or not u are passionate about something is all in the mind? I dun think I’ll mind doing anything as long as it is for a good cause.

I mean it feels like this is the right thing to do cuz honestly it’s not that bad if u choose to do something that u are not particularly passionate in right? cuz a lot of ppl have done that before / are doing that anyway and a lot of them are still living fine? u can derive fulfilment from other aspects of ur life. idk. but maybe my mind is telling me that I shouldn’t be so picky cuz I’m subconsciously trying to avoid facing this issue of having to figure out what I really wanna do in the future? idk man. 

shan’t think about it anymore, got a long day ahead today. better sleep now. nights~