super duper happy to be 20 hehe.
for me age symbolises maturity (at least in my case) cuz with more experiences comes more lessons learnt ^^
and I’m not sure how many times I’ve said this but I’m super at peace with my life rn. I also dunno why. I mean nowadays I have more academic stuff to do and I have fewer friends than before but I’ve never felt happier. maybe cuz these friends who stayed are the friends who are the most caring and dedicated to our friendship, and I’m also currently enjoying not having to memorize truckloads of information to write humanities essays (sorry geog, u are interesting but hmm haha) which is pretty awesome ^^
although there is a drawback for this which is that the questions that I do for my acads are a lot harder and more tedious (in terms of the thinking process) so it does seem like I am spending a lot of time on them. especially proof questions and programming OMGOSH hahaha super duper time consuming. cuz u never know when u will actually get the correct solution. u just have to keep debugging and debugging and debugging and debugging and ok u get my point.
paiseh for geeking out. haha.
I guess I should go back to debugging my program since it needs to be submitted before 2359 oops. talk to y’all soon again!
tired of life here. there are many things that I’m willing to sacrifice but definitely not my freedom. and most of the time I don’t feel like I’m being taken seriously so I feel pretty out of place. my future seems bleak in Singapore. I want out.
around a week ago I saw an old acquaintance (let’s name her A) with another old acquaintance (B) together (who fortunately do not recognise me like 90% of the people I personally know). she was obviously linking arms with him. why this was awkz is cuz I knew that another acquaintance (C) who was (and probably still is?) A’s best friend liked (and probably still likes?) B. there was once I saw A and B hug and C was there too and jealousy and dejection was written ALL OVER HER FACE. it was kinda awkz for me to be there at that moment cuz I am personally rather intimidated by C and being able to read her mind on such a personal thing was. pretty. awkz.
but well. this thing about romance and relationships. it’s funny. I feel like (at least for me) u never know what will happen next. I feel like I’m constantly living in a whirlwind. If I continue to stay here, I might not cease to feel that I have no control over my love life.
I know now is the time for many ppl my age to think about their future. like in 5 years’ time I bet at least one same-aged acquaintance of mine is going to get married. I just know it omgosh. and in 10 years’ time my mum and dad will probably start their nagging.
‘when are u going to get married???’
‘why don’t u have a boyfriend???’
‘what about the 谁谁谁 from ur work???’
‘I tell u ah it’s better to give birth before 30 years old, do you understand???’
and it doesn’t help that my bro might be getting married pretty soon and then my mum will be like:
‘when is it your turn? you are the only one left!’
not like I can decide whether fossil wants me right. sorry I think very far ahead and I guarantee u there is some truth as to what I’m saying here. in 10 years u see what I will be posting on this blog if i would still be in love with fossil and he hadn’t come back. it’ll be what u just read, all the irritating nagging comments.
but seems like I’m seriously going to migrate. and it means that I might really be ready to give up on him.
2015 was amazing. so many great things happened i felt like i was in a dream. of course life had its challenges as well (my faithful readers and close friends will know what happened). but i was super strong. for my own standards. HAHA. quite proud of myself. ^^
2016 is going to be spectacular. i’m going to keep up what i did in 2015, and do them so much better. i’m going to continue my tutoring but it’s not going to stop me from working my ass off. i might go ahead with my film mentorship. we’ll see how it goes!
but one thing is for sure…
I’LL FINALLY REACH MY POTENTIAL THIS YEAR.
i can feel it. the renewed spirit, the energized body… the enthusiasm is bubbling in me. i’m so going to own 2016.
wait for it.