i recently mentioned that there is a past good friend who is trying to earn my trust back after leaving me when i needed him most. we’ve both made the effort to commit to a whatsapp htht recently and i must admit i am slowly starting to let my guard down. it is really super tempting to open up to him again.
but i guess i am also absolutely terrified of slowly increasing my dependence on him and risking getting hurt again.
just now in the shower i was just reflecting about 2016 and suddenly realized that i have been oblivious to something super important that has been happening.
i have been completely blinded towards the fact that another ex-good friend of mine has also been trying to rebuild our special friendship that we had in the past.
i think i might have blogged about this before. rmb a few years ago i mentioned this soulmate person who is super similar to me, who rejected me as a close friend because i was too ‘piercing’ (probably cuz he felt exposed that i knew so much about him when in fact it’s just because we are extremely similar)?
he recently acknowledged me as one of his close friends and i was extremely perplexed. because we are no longer close??? and wasn’t he the one who left??? i’m not sure if this is true but perhaps he is signalling to me that he is ready for the close soulmate thing again?
but no matter what is the case, i don’t think i will act upon my suspicions for this soulmate person because i guess i am also trying to avoid being too tied down to singapore. it’s really a dilemma of whether to reconnect with someone i know i’ll definitely grow emotionally attached to. i mean come on it’s a soulmate.
(can i just make a disclaimer that by soulmate i do not mean romantic partner. my definition of soulmate is just someone who is very similar to u, and u probably feel divinely connected to the person – especially if u believe in God and stuff)
(can i also make another disclaimer that i know that i have close guy friend problems but it’s just because i have some close friends who happen to be guys for some reason maybe someone can do some psychosocial analysis of me and tell me why i have more guy confidantes tyvm)
i have other friendship issues with other ppl but i’m just going to leave this post as it is because i’ve alr told those ppl how i feel and i do not want to keep hurting them by bringing the problems up again.
let’s just say that currently i’m learning how to depend on myself and myself only.