took a break. 

kinda backslided these 2 weeks to take a long and possibly well-deserved(?) break. as much as i love to learn about new things, it is honestly very tiring to have to always be on the ball. considering the fact that i’m also heavily involved in nuSTUDIOS (by my own accord though). 

thinking of consulting a career advisor and a prof (if needed) to advise me on my module and internship planning. i’m seriously very lost right now because of the new changes that America is going through after Trump’s inauguration. i really envy Joshua so much haish. being able to even think about getting a US citizenship and Singapore PR ._.

i guess everybody has these backsliding moments in their lives. it just takes some time and determination for them to pick themselves up bah. it is easy to just curl up in a ball and tell yourself that u can’t do it. on the other hand it takes so much courage for u to face the problem and hustle through. 

i really do not want to blame anyone but it is a fact that i am still very crippled by this desire to be with someone whom i shouldn’t even think about. i definitely haven’t moved on. it’s literally been 6 entire years already. maybe it’ll reach 10 years then i can celebrate. ok that’s an absolutely wrong mindset to have. 

i really wish i can move on. the stupid thing is that for some reason my standards are super high and no one can achieve those kind of standards and i don’t really care if no one can because i’ve experienced how much love can destroy me and i guess i just want to protect myself. 

anyway. shall go back to my life and face reality. talk to y’all soon ˆᴗˆ

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first week of school

very motivated to do well this sem. i’m like going to school like 1 hour earlier than the starting time to prep and chill. #kanchiongspider hahahaha. if i do not get the job i want i really wanna do masters. and upgrade myself. 

within the first 2 days of school i’ve alr been out with 2 friends: first day huimimn and second day yunmei. i feel that i shouldn’t slacken off that much but can’t help it when tutorials haven’t started and i have like an average of 2 hours worth of classes on average every day this week. 

taking my first level-4000 mod (cs4247: graphics rendering techniques) this sem. it’s kinda intimidating because i do not really know anyone here. like everyone is probably all in year 3 or year 4. but this lecturer taught me in year 1. he’s really nice and his lectures are very thorough and clear so i think should be fine ˆᴗˆ

just went for st2131 lecture which very few ppl went for (why am i not surprised). the lecturer’s voice seems very soft to me even through i’m sitting within the first 5 rows hmm. i might just webcast this module. haha. 

i stopped at the previous paragraph for the past week because i have been kinda lazy to continue i think. (and maybe busy? hahaha.) but bing guo asked me ‘how’s the new sem’ and i haven’t replied him for quite a few days cuz i wanted to just let him read this post which is was lazy to continue so ya. here i am. 

just finished exco minutes and planning to do a bit of acads before sound mentorship later. it’s very hard for me to gauge this sem’s workload in terms of acads, nuSTUDIOS etc. but should be able to cope. #notdeludingmyselfokay

haven’t updated insta in a long time cuz i wanna post something but i keep forgetting about it. will try to do it tonight. for those who dunno and want to follow me it’s loveandbejoyful_. remember the underscore haha. i was quite upset that loveandbejoyful was taken. but i just went to stalk and got a lot of baby pictures eh heehee. 

anyway will update soon! (cuz bdae coming haha)