recent kpop mvs

NOT TODAY

although i’m a V (and Jimin) stan, it upsets me that there isn’t a SINGLE close up of Jin in this video (only an unflattering 1-sec MCU). and yet the ARMYs are extremely cool about it. for BST there were alr very few lines for Jin, and now this? what on earth is going on??? it’s one thing to focus on the main rappers/singers/dancers but this is definitely unacceptable. i feel so disappointed with Big Hit.

KNOCK KNOCK

finally a normal-sounding song from Twice. but i kinda miss the weird tunes for LOA, Cheer Up and IGBAS hahaha. i think that Twice has lost its distinctive weird music style. seriously if you told me this was some other girl group’s song i wouldn’t doubt it. disappointed as well but oh well.

ROOKIE

thought that this was a terribly stupid song at first but for some reason it got better the more i listened to it. i guess the interesting bass makes up for the stupid melody line. and the bridge is interesting. but honestly i would prefer if red velvet did more mature concepts. i thought they totally pulled off automatic and be natural.

crippled

was trying to brainstorm a romance story for a new script today but ended up getting myself tangled up again with all these stupid emotions.

for a long time i did pretty well in trying to suppress these feelings. i thought through time i would just slowly forget about your existence and move on. perhaps i could meet someone i like and change my “target”. but as the feelings flood back today i realize that i have grown to love you and miss you more than ever. these feelings have in fact intensified without me realizing. i don’t know how it works. how can i think about you less but love you more day by day???

it was scary that i listened to Gravity today and could relate to every single line of the lyrics more than ever. and i didn’t even manage to get myself out of the house this morning because of these feelings.

it’s been 6 entire years. i’m exhausted.

i’m tired of screwing my life up because of these feelings. i have sabotaged my close friendships and severely hurt people i love. i have screwed up my health and flunked my grades. i think i have really lost sight of what i truly want for myself in life.

you are one-of-a-kind, and you are very precious to me. as much as i tell myself that i am blessed to be able to genuinely love someone so deeply, this love is is definitely taking a toll on my health. it hurts so much to love you.

was i wrong to want to deliberately think of you? do i have to stifle and suppress these feelings for the rest of my life, and not bring them back up to the surface ever? then what if these feelings continue to intensify without my knowledge?